The billions of years it took

Do you remember, from the start, how small everything was? Smaller than a point. Like everything was somewhere between a thrilling thought that fluttered chills, almost, and a reality. As if it was all a seed of a flower. It grew. And then I looked at you and thought

”?”

And then everything that would ever happen, happened.

One and only

This world is hard. It has sharp edges with truth and lies that cut. It’ll make you choose between everything. Between finding what you love and loving what you find. 

but you’re the only one thats loved, the only one that cared.

you’re the only one that mattered, the only one that’s there.

and I’m glad you’re here

because this world is hard. And at times, it’s too hard for me. 

Orange blue and spaceships

I know you’re just a blanket now, sewn and tied together with memories that we might have had, but every night it will always keep me warm with dreams of what could’ve happened. 
I know you’re just the dream inside of a dream and I lied when I told you I would forget. I know it doesn’t seem like a big thing now, but I wanted to tell you the truth and never, ever lie to you about anything.

Because that’s how it starts.

and don’t worry, I know I don’t know you, anymore
but do know that you’ll always have me. 

Little Thoughts

I woke up early with a new state of mind and gazed beyond the starlit skyline with countless constellations and subfusc shadows as little thoughts ignite.. a bomb of infinite questions and actions that holds untold tales of future adventures. I felt the chill of fear and excitement slowly growing up my spine from what I saw beyond the sky. They say, “Even in the darkest night there will always be a light.” So I’ll gather up the clouds of storms that shed tears and use the peaks of waves to run far away. I’m becoming more distanced, but I will continue to pursue my painted future. Time rushes us making our actions speed up.
We are all searching for the same light - living one life under the same sky.

so what are you looking for
beyond the sky?

Gone

One day your eyes will start to read a sentence (this one) and a voice will start speaking in your head, as often as it happens when your eyes read words. This time the voice (again, this one) said,
“I’m going away to make a living for a while. Trust me that it’s for the best. I’ll see you on holidays. I’m going to be meeting new people and learning things. Try to have some fun and keep yourself entertained while you wait for me. I thank you, sincerely, for your patience. See you next year.”
The voice sounded like someone you once knew or maybe, it’s all just in your head.

This world is better backward

I never felt it again. Trough the door, you grabbed my hand as you came in. The past, we fought about something that shouldn’t have mattered but for some reason, it did. It happened. We spoke softly. We were in bed. I told you,

“I love you.”

I waited and remembered.. the movies, parties, and places we’ve been.
We laughed and kissed and cried and ate and drank and made love. 

It all ended with my eyes meeting yours for the first time with the sudden, extreme feeling of expectation. 

and now, how can I miss what has never existed.

Like magnets.

I never decided to make this a story.

I just wanted to write one.

I never wanted to make things different.

I just wanted someone.

I never wanted to be attached

but you have me in a pull.

I’m not giving you credit

I just wanted you to know.

You gave me a reason, not an excuse. 
There’s love, sex, and fucking and then there’s you.